New York Post - Weird

Good morning, class. The undead-line for your term paper will be . . . The University of Baltimore is offering a new course on zombies this semester. Students who sign up for Zombie 101 will watch 16 classic films and read a selection of comics on the theme of blood-guzzling ghouls. *** He's...

Somebody ought to be called on the carpet. A quote woven into the new Oval Office rug -- "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice" -- is attributed on the fabric to Martin Luther King Jr. But the man who wrote those stirring words...

That high didn't last long. A naked man on LSD jumped off a 100-foot cliff in California and survived. The man, who wasn't coherent enough to provide his name, hurled himself off a ledge at Goat Rock Beach in Jenner, Calif., Thursday evening and was then airlifted to...

Whoever "donated" these items is not a person of goodwill. Someone left ammunition, a pistol, a grenade and marijuana in the collection box of a Goodwill store in Albuquerque, NM, a donation that brought out the bomb squad. *** Don't go snorting grandma, dudes! Two men driving a friend's...

Is Howard Stern sitting on this school board? The powers that be in Seminole County, Fla., have banned girls from wearing short skirts -- except, of course, for cheerleaders, who are free to wear their uniforms as short as they like. A mother of a non-cheerleader complained of favoritism, but...

A guy in Oregon dialed 911 for room service. Mark Eskelsen called cops from his home hot tub to say he needed a towel, hot chocolate with marshmallows -- and a hug. He's looking at a stretch in jail, where perhaps he can now get his hug from fellow...

Here's a murder case that sounds like an episode of "CSI" written by fifth-grade boys. A man named Kermit Butts, 29, was arrested in the shotgun killing of a man named Samuel Boob in central Pennsylvania. The victim's wife, Miranda Boob, is also accused of taking part in...

She wouldn't have made a very good Santa Claus. A Bakersfield, Calif., woman died after she tried to get into the home of her on-again, off-again boyfriend by sliding down the chimney. The decomposing body of Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac was found stuck in the chimney days later. The man...

She wouldn't have made a very good Santa Claus. A Bakersfield, Calif., woman died after she tried to get into the home of her on-again, off-again boyfriend by sliding down the chimney. The decomposing body of Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac was found stuck in the chimney days later. The man...

Wherefore art thou, Captain Kirk? Shakespeare has finally been translated into Klingon. The Arlington, Va.-based Washington Shakespeare Company will perform selections from "Hamlet" and "Much Ado About Nothing" in Klingon on Sept. 25, Its artistic director called it a way to "breathe some fresh air into the classics." *** Maybe...

His next snack will be bread and water. Cops in Gonzales, La., finally collared the "Brownie Bandit," a man accused of breaking into a bakery several times, stealing fresh brownies and leaving behind crumbs and broken windows. Jamon Simoneaux, 18, had a bag full of brownies when he was arrested...

My contraband has a first name . . . A Holyoke, Mass., resident was busted after cops found more than a kilogram of cocaine hidden in a hollowed-out hunk of bologna. The local Post Office had been investigating suspicious shipments and set up a sting to catch the 30-year-old suspect. *** Next time, send...

McDonald's has been sued a few times by patrons who accidentally scalded themselves with coffee, but now an alleged thief has gotten burned. A burger flipper at a Portland, Maine, outlet tossed hot brew on a thief who brazenly tried to steal the cash register. Cops busted the scalded...

These master criminals never heard of casing a joint before pulling a heist. Two men in Portland, Ore., were busted for shoplifting from a store while it was holding a police charity event called Shop with a Cop. There were dozens of officers at the Fred Meyer store when Shane...

A Florida man was jailed after getting into an argument with his bicycle. Richard Bialon, 68, fired off so many obscenities at the bike at a Palm Beach-area gas station that onlookers called cops, who charged him with disorderly intoxication. * Getting into a car accident was bad enough, but what...

You sure can't accuse these housebreakers of a cover-up. A couple entered a home in Elma, Wash., promptly undressed, and made a sex video. When a neighbor of the vacationing homeowners dropped by to pick up the mail, the amateur porn stars fled, leaving their camera behind. Cops studied...

The country's oldest Little Leaguers finally played their all-star game -- 37 years late. The game was scheduled for 1973, but the Ypsilante, Mich., American League lost its charter when it allowed Carolyn King to play on the then-all-boys squad, sparking a national controversy. Players on the town's...

A pig-wrestling competition at the county fair in Great Falls, Mont., has been canceled -- because the porkers eluded capture. Fair managers usually have no problem nabbing at least 30 wild pigs. But this year, they were only able to locate only a single boar. *** Cops in a St. Louis...

Hip, hip, hooray! A French surgeon may have entered the record books by saving a 154- pound gorilla who broke her thigh bone at the hip when she took a tumble from a tree. Kwanza, 8, slipped off a branch in the Valley of the Apes safari park in Romagne...

Talk about dirty money! A DWI and drug suspect in Florida shocked cops when $45 fell out of his butt during a strip search. Nicholas Harris, 19, who initially denied he had cash on him, was described as a human "ATM," but don't ask what the "A" stands for...